


Four Supernaturals Walk Into A House

by Magpie_Crow



Series: Fics to make up for Angst [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Asexual Character, Ghost Logic | Logan Sanders, Implied Cheating, Incubus Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, M/M, Multi, No Actual Cheating, No Pizzas were harmed in the making of this fic, Polyamorous relationship, Vampire Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Werewolf Morality | Patton Sanders, blood mention, tw panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22077493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpie_Crow/pseuds/Magpie_Crow
Summary: Well, one of them probably floated, but semantics.It's not the beginning of a bad joke, just the premise to a fluffy LAMP fic. I was told I couldn't write Patton dying angst again until I wrote five fluffy fics, so here's number one!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, LAMP - Relationship
Series: Fics to make up for Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589185
Comments: 13
Kudos: 157





	Four Supernaturals Walk Into A House

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoy!

“Honey, I’m home!” Patton called out cheerily as he hung his keys on the rack. It was convenient, having a rack for keys. He didn’t have to sniff around for them every day.

He heard a muffled curse and a thump, as if someone had fallen off the couch.

“Roman? Is everything alright, kiddo?” He made his way into the living room worriedly. 

Patton found his partner on the floor, facing another young man on the couch who looked like he’d just done the pushing in order to get Roman _off_ the couch. 

“I’msosorry!” The man on the couch shot up to his feet, almost tripping and falling flat on his face when he did. “I didn’t know he had a boyfriend!”

“Partner.” Roman looked miffed to have been interrupted in his attempts to woo his new conquest. 

Patton turned to him, hands akimbo, with a slight frown on his freckled features. “Now Roman, honey, what does Logan say about making out in public spaces?”

Roman glared and then straightened his back, gearing up for a great imitation of their third roommate’s lectures on consideration.

“Wait, what?” The fourth person in the room was still standing on the couch, hair mussed and suspicious dark marks on the side of his neck. “You’re not mad that your partner was cheating on you?”

Turning to the stranger, Patton gave him a bright grin. “Nope! We’re an open polyamorous triad. Roman’s the only one of us who isn’t asexual, so it’s fine if he brings someone home. Are you okay, kiddo?” 

“Uh. Yeah. I’m… I’m fine. You said triad?”

He took the chance to give the man a quick once-over. The stranger was slim, with pale, pointed features and dyed purple curls. His dark eyes almost looked purple in the dim light from the kitchen, giving his face an otherworldly glow. 

Well, Patton knew all about otherworldly glows. For instance- “Logan, when were you going to make your appearance?”

The ghost materialized out of his favorite book, sitting open on the end-table by the couch. “Mid-coitus, most likely. I find watching to be repulsive, but ruining their fun would bring some joy to my afterlife.”

Patton clicked his tongue. “That’s not very nice, Logan. Apologize to our guest.”

You know, the guest who had sat down hard and was staring at Logan like he’d seen, well, Logan. 

“One of these days I’ll return the favor to you, Ghost Reader.” Roman was glaring at their third balefully, his eyes flickering from black to brown to red.

“You can try. Your glamor is falling, by the way.”

“What. The. Fuck.”

All three of them turned to the stranger. He was pressed up against the back of the couch, eyes flickering from Logan to Roman and back again. 

“Something wrong, kiddo?” Patton’s ears popped out involuntarily, telegraphing his worry loud and clear.

“What the _fuck_.” He was looking between all three of them now, and his feet were pushing at the couch cushions like he wanted to vault over the back of it.

Logan floated closer to their guest. “I think you are having a panic attack. Virgil, correct?” He glanced at Roman when he asked the question, to which Roman answered with a nod.

“Virgil, I need you to listen to me. What are five things you can see?”

Virgil was quiet, other than the increasingly panicked breaths he was taking, before he answered. “Y-you, Roman… The TV, him…. The-the book.”

“Very good, Virgil. Now, tell me four things you can touch.”

“The couch, my hoodie-“ he gulped, and reached out with one shaking hand. His fingers brushed across the wood of the end-table and made contact with the pages of Logan’s book. “The wood, paper.”

“Well done. What are three things you can hear?”

Virgil looked calmer now, and continued faster than before. “You, the clock ticking, the rain outside.”

“Fantastic. Two things you can smell?”

“Wet dog and… Burning pizza?”

Roman was on his feet and darting to the kitchen in seconds. “Shit, the pizza!”

“Good job, Virgil. Now, one thing you can taste.”

Virgil hesitated for a long moment, Logan staring at him the entire time, until Patton decided to break the silence.

“It’s okay, kiddo! You don’t have to answer that one if you’re calm enough.” 

A glint lit up in Virgil’s eyes, and he looked straight at Logan and bared suspiciously sharp teeth. “Blood.”

Patton stepped back in shock. “Roman, honey! You invited in a vampire again!”

“But I saved the pizza! Aren’t I a hero?”

Virgil giggled, and Patton’s heart skipped a beat. “It’s cool, I won’t- I won’t attack any of you. Is- is Roman one of us too?”

Roman came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands off on a hand-towel. “Indeed, fair creature of darkness! I am an incubus, at your service.” He took one of Virgil’s hands with a flourish and  
kissed it, winking.

Patton swore Virgil would have blushed if he wasn’t, well, undead. 

“Wait, that means I’m the only one of us with a mortal life span! No fair!”

“Do not pout, Patton. We have discussed avenues we can take to circumvent mortality.” 

“I’m gonna pout anyways because I feel like it. Roman, do we have any cookies?”

Roman laughed and summoned a chocolate chip cookie from the cookie jar with a wave of his hand. “Here you go, Padre.” He winked at Virgil again. “Welcome to the mad house.”

“You might want to re-think saying that. I could choose to stay.” A smirk was dancing at the corner of Virgil’s mouth. 

Patton shrugged. “Fine with me, kiddo. Just don’t let Roman seduce you on the couch again.”

The incubus flushed red all the way to the tips of his hair. “Excuse me, _he_ seduced _me_ , not the other way around. I was _trying_ to get him up to the bedroom!”

“We’re also talking about how you didn’t warn poor Virgil about the three of us, young man. That must have been a shock.”

“What was I supposed to say? Hey, you’re hot, I’m sexy, please come home with me and ignore my two supernatural partners so we can make out?”

“Roman!” 

As the werewolf and incubus bickered, Logan floated closer to Virgil. “Have you read any Agatha Christie?” 

“Uh, yeah. At least, I’ve read Murder on The Orient Express. It was good.”

“I would like to suggest The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. It is quite fascinating. In the end, the murderer is-“

Virgil clamped his hands over his ears. “Woah, no spoilers please. I’ll definitely take that into consideration… I’ve had plenty of time to read since I died. Or didn’t. I don’t know.”

Logan chuckled. The noise stopped the bickering pair, and they turned to see their ghostly partner smiling gently at their new friend. 

Patton and Roman made eye contact. 

“Hey, Virgil, kiddo, I know we just met, but”

“Would you, perhaps, like to join our relationship?” Roman finished Patton’s sentence.

All three of them looked curiously at Virgil, who probably would have been blushing at all the attention. 

“Uh. Sure. That- that sounds nice.”

Roman clapped happily. “Wonderful! Pizza, anyone?”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, how was it?
> 
> I set up a Discord server! <https://discord.gg/gtWgvQ4>  
> Join me to talk about my writing and stuff! Seriously, please join us. I need more friends.
> 
> Find more on tumblr @we-are-fam-ily


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